Song of the day: Freckles-Natasha Bedingfield
My First Nutritionist
From the beginning my mom has been my nutritionist. She gave me a “nana” and dried cheerios when I was a baby. She also packed my lunches with thick sandwiches and…I guess more fruit for elementary school. As I later realized, there are healthy fistful portions and then their are a Mom’s hearty portions. Don’t get me wrong, I love a hearty portion, but maybe that didn’t send good messages when it was time for me to learn about health and nutrition.
Too Thin, Too Fat
My weight always fluctuates. Diet and exercise isn’t a hard concept to grasp, but it’s a hard thing to put into practice. Before anyone lectures me about the right and wrong way to go about it, I want you to know that i am healthy at my weight. I am not overweight or under weight (though I have been both before.) When I was heavier my mom started to make comments about losing weight. She monitored my calorie intake and threatened me with the thought of being fat. When I was too thin those comments diminished and were replaced with compliments far and few between. This seems like a normal thing for a mom to do, but it really messed with my head. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel about myself until one day I. HAD. HAD. ENOUGH!
My mother has a habit of using weight as an insult. Let’s give you a scenario. Let’s say I decide not to do something she wants me to do. I stay calm and try to reason with her. In that moment she doesn’t feel like a parent, she is losing control over me and I seem eerily similar to an adult. As a reaction she pulls out a comment meant to hurt me, ” well maybe if you lost weight…”
You have witnessed the exact moment my heart cracked. My mother’s opinion meant the world to me, so why would she say that? The answer is that my mother is human. I am guilty of hurting the people I love, out of sheer frustration as well. This frustration stems over not being able (or not knowing how to) protect and care for the ones you love. But I also needed to protect myself against her words. The solution was to not listen. I could no longer take her opinion into consideration when the subject of weight came up. As a result, it felt as if the last ounce of nutritional responsibility shifted into my hands.
To the incoming Freshman. When it’s time for you to go to college, Freshman year will wreck your weight. Mainly because most Universities living on campus require you to buy a huge meal plan. (That most people don’t fully use) You will come to realize that all of the options aren’t the healthiest and all you can do is just consume what other have made for you. Freshman 15 is real. Pizza is the diet of midterms and finals!
Nevertheless, there is hope. Eventually (more than likely in your Sophomore year) you will have to be an adult. This includes, but is not limited to, making your own money so you can, shop for your own groceries, and make your own meals. Once you are in control of what you buy and what you cook, nutrition becomes 100% easier.
This summer, my mom made one last comment that I completely absorbed for all of its healing power. She told me that she was proud of me…regardless of how she felt about losing her daughter to a new found independence.
I hope you have happy eating 🙂