My top love language is acts of service.
“For people who have ‘acts of service’ as their primary love language, helpful acts are seen as very powerful expressions of love and devotion. Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, mowing the grass, etc. are all acts of service.”’ ( a helpful example and definition given to us by www.twoofus.org )
I have found this love language to be a rarity among the masses. Though it is rare, there are three dark sides to this language.
- Not many people know how to receive it.
- It almost seems antiquated. Since those in my generation almost always prioritize physical touch or spending quality time with a person over my–personal– slow brewing expression of love.
- Being helpful requires observation.
- What was once curiousness over their specific quirks can easily turn into an obsession.
- A plan to do something nice can escalate into a scheme. A scheme in which you convince them to like you.
Segue into Valentine’s Day…
The Valentine’s Day Plan
This sock-you-in-the-face Valentine’s day came up too quickly.
Valentine-grams, band serenades, large teddy bears, and boxes of chocolate were everywhere! I didn’t know that this holiday was kept alive by twenty to thirty year old adults and high school students.
Like the Dork that I am I wanted in on the festivities. My goal was simply to get Dorian’s number so we could at least text each other. So I formulated a plan to make Dorian feel good all day. I bought two Valentine-grams and sent them to his second period class. The night before I picked out a cute outfit which was A pink crew neck sweater with a blue button down collar peeking out, tan tennis shoe heels and black slacks. My glasses completed the look. I had out Dorked myself for that 3.5-4 minute window of small talk we had between first and second period. [See Previous Post]
The last part of the plan was to hand him my number after AP US History. I had my number written on a piece of paper with a little “text me” on the bottom of the note. I was ready.
Until this random thought came into my head, “Why not kiss his cheek?” If he was at all doubtful about my intention this would clear things up.
My second love language-Physical Touch
Let’s pause the story and talk about hugs. I can’t be the only person who unconsciously (or consciously) smells someone when you hug them? Dorian had a clean earthy smell, like the earth does before it rained. I would like to point out that Dorian gave the best hugs I have ever had in my life and this claim has not been challenged to this day.
The timing of them was just long enough to make you feel cared for, but not too long, so that it didn’t felt awkward. He gave sizable squeezes, so that you felt safe. His go-to hug was a side hug. But every once in a while he gave bear hugs. When those happened my face ended up in his jacket and my olfactory senses short circuited from so much goodness. Back to the story….
AP US History class lets out and I wait for him in the hall, so I would be the first one to talk to him as soon as he exits the door. As he emerges I see him in a haloed by the light of the classroom behind him…but he isn’t alone. A friend of ours was using up the time I was going to use to talk to him.
My plan was starting to slip through the cracks. I knew that he would split off as soon as he reached the staircase that led up to his next class. I waited for the friend to split away and as soon as he did Dorian started to climb the stairs. Taking them two steps at a time.
“Hey Dorian, waite a sec!” I stopped him. My heart beat my chest in protest.
He turns around in slow motion and I make my descent just until I am level with his jacket pocket and his cheek. I put my number in his jacket pocket. He looks down for a few precious seconds at my hand putting something in his pocket. As he is looking, I use the opportunity to peck his cheek.
SCORE! EXECUTION 9.5!
My next impulse was to bolt, so I swiveled on the steps and hurried off to my next class.
I was so high emotionally that nothing, not even homework could bring me down!
Nothing really, he texted me as I requested, but we never mentioned the cheek kiss. He got a girlfriend later that year and that was that. We graduated from the same high school as friends. As of today we are still following each other on Facebook and Instagram. He is a very sweet person and I think he is doing very well. As far as I know he is dating a gorgeous model and living life to its fullest.